'Chance': You were already given!

I was terrified, scared and restless for seeing all doors in-front of me closed. I was not talking to anyone, I was staying recluse, I was running far away from everyone. I was doing all kinds of weirdness, I was irritated and frustrated. I had no hope, no ray of light, nowhere to go.

I believe at one point of time, it happens with everyone when you raise many questions on your own existence, on your life, on your luck, on the chances given, on the opportunities you lost, on seeing success of others and yours failure. It is a common psychology when you are preparing for something with all your heart and when a roadblock hits you hard amid the process, you tend to lose, you tend to be mentally exhausted.

I was working on something from quite some time and thought of having a review. I showed my work to someone and got the mixed response, though the negative ones could be improved easily, but I was stunned and startled. I saw myself falling down, saw myself crushing my own dreams, saw myself talking nonsense to everyone, saw myself thinking the worst that could happen to me. But I was wrong.

Actually, I'm blessed with some people who are with me and who comes and teaches me every time, seriously every time, whenever I wish to quit my dreams. It's in my habit or maybe others also, I tend to start questioning the meaning of life. Why were we born? Who is God? What is Universe? Where would we go after death? Were we born simply to face the problems throughout our lifetime and then die hurting others?

The possible and the best explanation I got from someone was, 'The life which you were given is itself a CHANCE which no one realizes. Even if there is no explanation of many things, would you be happier to have a life of a rat or would you be happier to have a life of a human?'

Science will always fight with the BELIEFS, but it us who are caught in between. We are living, that itself is a chance because there are many creatures who are also in this world but that's not living. But being 'Human' is a chance, a chance to do anything you wish to do, which you like, which you want to. Rather questioning your existence, rather questioning the closed door, rather questioning the lost opportunities, rather questioning your failures, think only one thing that is, you are living, you are a human, this is your chance! Period.

Who knows what happens after we die and who cares? We should not waste that much of time to think the after-life shit, instead we have a chance because we are living. So, create opportunities, open new doors, leave the failures behind and take a detour to reach success.

Total living things, including all the animals, insects, plants and human beings on this planet would be much more than 10000 billions but see, you are lucky enough to be Human. 'Life' is a chance not a burden. 'Life' is an asset not a liability. The Chance was already given to you, it's time to utilize!

Parents!!

What I have written till now and what I usually write is usually related to Success and Motivation stuff but the reason why I actually write is my Parents! Yes, they are the only reason why I started to write and I'm glad I have done this.

Without looking any childhood pictures because they bring back the old memories, I remember a scene I guess I was 3 years old because before that I don't remember anything, so, I was sitting on my papa's laps and both were watching a cricket match. He was interested in watching the match where as I was least interested and had my full attention towards my papa who was smiling at me, making faces as I looked at him.

The reason for writing this post is because today in the morning, I asked my father to credit me some money because I was broke, AGAIN! Naturally like any other father, he asked me the reason because the last time I asked was just a week before, yet I was over with the money. A little explanation to him, and he transferred a little more than I asked without any scuffle, without any altercation over phone. Now this is the part where I feel living in Hostel sucks because that was the time when I wanted to hug my father, or smile at him. But, no I couldn't, I was refrained to only say thank you!

I desist myself from any kind of work, lied down, played songs on the phone, and remembered everything from the starting. I was nostalgic, deep into nostalgic as I remembered every small stuff, every small detail how my mother would put me over the slab and then cook dinner while I sat there placid and calmly looking at the most beautiful person, how my father would make me stand in-front of him on the scooter and when I would feel the cold breeze he would turn my face towards him. I could write a whole book of events, lively and memorable moments and events with my parents.

Last Summer, me and my brother told my parents to take us to a trip, that was awesome too though, the real trip, the real adventure are the moments which you share regularly, daily. You don't know how much precious they are until and unless you move out of the home and live in all new world. Being is hostel feels like being independent, but I still miss my home, I miss my parents, I miss my brother. The most common words which everyone says are, 'I miss Mom's cooked food', but what everyone misses is the warmth and love which radiate from her and transfers in to the food.

There are times when every child would have become hostile, when they demanded from their parents and there are times in everyone's life when they simply can't fulfill your wishes not because they don't want to, but just because they can't at that very moment. Sharing one example, I asked for a new phone, they refused, i asked again they refused, again and refused, I went home from hostel in semester break, I asked again and they refused but one night we all returned after doing dinner from outside, and what I got was a brand new phone, a surprise gift from my parents and my brother.

If any person would say I hate my parents, they have nothing done for me then possibly one should take a knife and stab the person, stab enough to die. If Parents go against you, then that is for a reason, they know better than you, if they shackle you from doing anything, understand it, just because they know what might be the consequences.

Frankly, I have shouted, I have fought a lot with them and now I regret doing everything like that because now I understand the true and real values which they have taught me over the years. Whenever any kind of quarrel occurs with my parents and unintentionally if I might have said anything, it would have been venting out my anger but for them that's hurt, hurt right at heart. I feel bad now, why-just why I argued with them so vaguely, being so naive that I caused them hurt, cause them to cry inside.

I have read somewhere and this is a fact, 'Whole world might go against you but your parents would always hold your hand', until and unless you do something remarkably unethical. What I learnt in all these years is, if your parents give you a straight no, then understand them than be aggressive, sit with them and ask the problem rather scream on top of your lungs and go out!

Even an atheist believes in his/her parents, no matter he/she doesn't believe in anything else. Respect your parents, they did more than enough for you and would continue doing more than their reach till their end. Respect their love for you, no parents hates their kids. Respect your parents for guiding you, respect your parents for giving you values, respect your parents for everything. Life is very short, very unpredictable, don't be a person who would regret later for not doing anything for his/her parents, be a person who knows how to keep his/her parents happy and satisfied. Even when they retire and you would earn, most importantly they would require your care, your support and your presence. Laugh with them, live with them, thank them and love them!

Find yourself!

'Mom, I want to become rich, famous and I wish to have enough money that I could do anything I want to.' This is the most common line every parent would have heard, even I thought of the same but that was childhood, when a 100 Rs note was more satisfying than anything else. However, the adulthood hit us hard, hard enough to crack our outer layer, opening our inside, enabling us to see harsh, ruthless, vicious world which is known to us as LIFE!

I never realized when my dream of becoming a Pilot was modified so badly that I landed up in an engineering college along with thousands of others who had the same dream in their early years. I never realized I would be so frightened to face the world on my own, it was just like yesterday standing behind my parents as they fought to make way for me. I never realized when the time changed and I have to wash my clothes, manage the monthly budget and spend scrupulously, it was like yesterday when I was at home and sneaked 5 Rs from my mother's purse to get a chocolate.

Being in hostel, being independent has taught me a lot. But wait, where does the money come from? Yes, parents yet, independent yet? No, no way. I haven't started my life yet, I haven't started earning yet.
I would say if anyone wouldn't have seen any mental hospital then visit any engineering college and talk to the 3rd and 4th years students and just ask them, 'Placements, GATE, GRE, CAT, GMAT, UPSC or anything else?'

Being in 6th semester and seeing Placement companies and Higher studies' competition exams around the corner, trembles me. It's like passing through a graveyard at midnight, no matter you believe there are no ghosts, no dead corpse would rise up from their grave but the people around you would make you believe of their existence. You might and would pass through successfully but the tormented condition you might have to face would be unbearable.

Every person going through the same phase has many options but each one is going through a dark tunnel, you don't know what is on the other side but you have to believe and trust in yourself. That's the only source of light which will pass you through. Although the main adversity arises when a person doesn't know which tunnel to pass through, and that creates chaos and havoc in their mind which turns into over-thinking, stress, mood swings and importantly fracas with friends.

I recall a line from the movie, 'Pursuit of Happyness' when Will Smith tells his son, I would rather copy paste it.

''Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?

You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.''

Now, that's the reality. People try to discourage you in every possible way if you step on something else, something unusual, not the traditional way, not because they despise you but they are too fearful of taking risk that they would rather be in the conventional path than on the other. Well, that's the safest mode and the best one, I agree but this is the time when you have to decide yourself, what do you want to do? A sadist profession or a happy ambition.

If you wish to go to foreign, don't have another thought, prepare for it but have a contingency plan to execute. There is not much time left when your parents will be in hope to get your services and if you are still in dilemma what do you want to do and what do you want to be, then gear up fast because the high tides are coming very fast, either protect yourself or be engulfed, either find yourself now or cry at yourself later!

Life, what is it?

In last few days, I have read many posts related to life and meaning of it and also met a couple of people, obviously elders who have well explained me the meaning of life. Moreover, I am free these days and when someone is free, there 'Deep Thinking' mode switches on.

So, what is life? What is the reason we are living? Who is the creator? Is GOD real or just a myth? Are we in a dream, a state of illusion where we are tending to believe anything and everything? Just like the movie, Matrix, is it possible that we are living in a virtual world? Universe, what is it, just simply infinite empty space? Why is the reason that we have accommodated and accepted the belief that there is another life after death? Why do we suffer in agony and pain, but still live the shit life thinking that we have only one life, who knows where would we go after death?

Well, I can write and ask a hell lot of questions apart from these and not only me, there are millions like me who are depersonalized and who are desperate to know everything. But, we are restrained in such a world, in such a life where we learn to accept whatever is thought to us, whatever is fed to us and believes in whatever the world is believing. There are two kinds of people, one who accepts and believes in whatever he sees and the other who takes a separate lane, takes a different route to know the answer to every question but the similarity between both of them is that they wind up dead at some point, without getting any answer.

Well, although I'll remain in dilemma till my death whether we are actually living or it's just a fantasy world but still, everyone is here to live a good life, an enjoyable one without any problems, no atrocities just happiness.
Now, if asked the question of 'How to enjoy life', everyone would have different answers.

What I have experienced and what I have learnt from many people, Life is another word for emotions as well as relations. If you ask any other person, the 1st word which will come out would be Money and in fact there is no doubt about it. Money would provide you anything even happiness. But what I believe and I would repeat again, Life is simply Emotions and Relations.

You would be a millionaire, but what if you don't have any relations. Relations come handy with emotions, No emotions No relations. A friend taught me something which was and is indeed very useful, 'It doesn't matter whether you call or message someone first and it does not matter if it happens every time, what matters is that you keep the bond alive, you keep the relation alive!'

Everyone is busy with their life, you move away to different places, you will have different friends there, different routines, different priorities but what remains same is your bonding with the person whom you left behind. A simple remembrance via message or call from your so called busy schedule won't hurt anyone, but would only be a way to rejoice. Ego won't bring anything good but would simply kill any relation, stop all the emotions and causes a catastrophe in everyone's life.

You will anyhow end your life with death, but at that time, when you'll recall everything, you won't remember money, you won't remember the places you visited but you would remember, the people with whom you spent the money, the people with whom you went to various places, the people with whom you enjoyed, the people with whom you shared your happiness.

Life is a mixture of emotions and relations. A perfect quantity of each could bring wonders not only to you but to everyone who is connected with you. If you maintain a relation, you can maintain anything.

Need of a Friend - Poem

I was going through my poems and I found this particular one which I wrote in 2nd semester and actually this is the 1st one!

-->>

I wish I could have a friend,

With whom I can change every trend.

I want to cry out loud,

But there is no one to listen, that’s the doubt.

Need a friend, whom I can trust.

But, today friendship is like rust.

I want someone’s shoulder,

But no one is tight as a holder.

Everyone is mean, but they don’t seem.

They want to pass the time, and they do Day and Night.

Need someone who could understand my thoughts,

But there is none from various lots.

Word-Selfish comes in between,

Maybe that’s the problem with the teens.

It’s tough to stay away from home all alone,

Just you have you and your clone.

All you can do is to miss your family,

But, it’s tough to live five months separately.

I wish I could go back soon,

Otherwise, lately I’ll become a cartoon.

To counter these, all I need is a friend here,

Who will be always there!!

No Home - No Diwali

Everyone is gearing up to celebrate one of the most important festival i.e, in short 'Diwali'. So, although I stayed back in college for these Diwali vacations but majority of the students went back home to celebrate this auspicious festival with their family. Well, it certainly is the right job to do-to go home during vacations that too for Diwali. So, when everyone would return after the vacations, there will be a high volume of experiences being told, what they did and how they enjoyed but there is still ample of time to listen to that stuff. Before that, I'll tell how does one person feel not to go home and stay in the freaking ghostly hostel.

Although the students who were determined to go home @Diwali already booked their tickets much earlier and those who were in dilemma whether to go or not booked much later but somehow managed to get confirmation, but the real planning was executed a week before, talking to faculties to postpone the exams and reviews etc. As I had no plan to go but obviously for a moment of two the idea of leaving crossed my mind and especially when I realized that those friends who couldn't go home are going, say, relatives home or for expedition with family or with friends.

Now, 2 days of holidays and I'm already going berserk, being left with two room-mates and a couple of other friends is exasperating in itself and moreover the situation exacerbates when one of your room mate is leaving for relatives home the next day.

One of my friends asked me a question, 'You should have come home, it's a prefect break amid the creepy semester. Well, if you are really not coming to home, you must be enjoying there, right?'
Well, although I laughed hard listening to him but yes he was right, I'm enjoying a hell lot than I do at home. Now, the next question is how? I'll tell you how.

The ones called obnoxious campus just because of so much of crowd has become a serene and placid place where I won't find anyone recognizable and I simply get back to the hostel. It's actually exciting and time consuming that I don't talk to anyone on my way which once was time wasting talking and laughing and doing all the crazy things on the way, yes it definitely feels awesome. Then after getting back to hostel again I realize that there are not much students left, so comparatively the corridors are dark, the washrooms are empty, no one presses 2nd floor in elevator and no one howls during power cut-offs. Yes, I'm so enjoying here these days.

Let me add more of my fun experiences, I went to outdoor stadium which ones was packed with crazy footballers, maniac athletes and body-builders in gym and now I see a dozen of people playing football, a couple of students running through the tracks and feel the calm winds blowing just like you feel when walking through a lonely road with no signs of human population. Did you see there, how much I am enjoying right now? Okay, if you are still not satisfied then I'll tell you more. From last couple of days seeing the statuses like, 'Enjoying at home' 'Wow, mom's food, in love with it' 'There is nothing better than being at home @Diwali' feels so great and wonderful that yes people are also enjoying at home just like I'm doing the same in college. How could I forget about pictures, it feels so intriguing to see pictures of your friends firing crackers, with sweets or with parents. I feel a sense of relaxation to see the happiness, where-where I'm enjoying so much that I missed everything like crackers or sweet and importantly being with family.

Man, I feel speechless when someones asks me this question that's why I couldn't respond at that very moment. But, still I'll manage to have sweets, when my friends will be back I have ask them to bring some because come on, going home for the sake of sweets, crackers and meeting everyone is too mainstream so instead of that, I asked my friends, cool right?

So, this will be all of my experiences and enjoying stories, I can't believe that I enjoyed so much for the very 1st time. Although, yes forgot to wish, Happy Diwali! May everyone will enjoy every second and the festival would end all the problems, open all the shackles and would write a new successful chapter in your life, happy Diwali! :)

Sharing, worth to?

From childhood, we have been taught to share everything whatever we possess with our friends, family or anyone who is in need. Although, I certainly accept this notion but one question always remained struck in my mind which is, is it really worth to share with ANYONE? Well, you might share your stationary, books, food but would you really share your thoughts, your feelings with someone?

Recently, I was at loggerheads with some of my friends about this particular theory, whether to share your feelings or not? I was the lone person standing with the idea that no, it is not worth to share your feelings or your problems and a bunch of my friends stood against me. Their idea was simple although orthodox, we have been taught to share our feeling or to share our problems with someone we want to so that our body can become clean, free from all the pessimism inside, free from suffocation. Basically they described sharing as a vent through which you can again be normal, free from irritation or trouble.

Well, I certainly liked the proponent's work and I accept it as well that yes sharing helps you to feel light but with my experience sharing only made the other person uncomfortable. It creates a sense of awkwardness that you both can't get rid off and this has happened with me not once but twice. It has been said that more than parents, friends are the one who can counsel better simply because they might be going with the same atrocities or situations but the fact is that this premise is partially correct.

Obviously, we have different kinds of people around us and sticking to the topic of sharing, there are basically three types, one who shares each and everything, every small detail of their life even how much they spent the time in washroom glancing at themselves, the next being the sharers who share only their problems or who might need counselling to get out of some beleaguered situations and the last being the reticent group who keep almost everything to themselves and don’t share a thing until it is a zombie apocalypse and they are going to be dead soon.

Certainly I belong to the last type, for which I can give a hundred reasons but would refrain here myself. Before stating, I here mean the whole type. So, the most basic reason is that I can’t cry like a small baby in front of anyone babbling my problems. You were born an individual, with your own organs and mind so, why is there a need to put your head on other’s shoulder and wait for their patting on your back and crave to listen, ‘Don’t worry dude, it’ll soon be over, everything will be fine.’ The ones who share has the only motive to listen to the golden words mentioned above and I don’t see the point here, instead you can say to yourself standing in front of the mirror. Now, the controversial question arises that why do you need help of others in deciding something? So, the answer to which is, asking someone when you are taking a different and important step forward is for the purpose to take advise and advise & sharing are two different sons of the same mother.

Well, then the next point not to share is that you might be already feeling low and you start explaining your problems to someone who might be in super awesome mood but ends up being low themselves. I experienced it thrashing their mood badly for the sake of your being comfortable. Then there are persons who would be your best friends but might be the worst listeners or solvers. One day you might decide to share with them and your friend instead of listening to you patiently ends up explaining his own shit to you and at the end you would be the same as in starting and wondering, is he really my best friend?

The point of publishing this post is the recent events which are going on and although I feel to vent out everything to someone but I can’t and fortunately or unfortunately, I have done inception on myself that I won’t share ever. Although, it feels very nice that someone values you more than others when they explain their problems, when they share.